i think i can catch up on my reading goal in like the next month just watch

silence

when they allotted me just forty words a day
I decicided to ration them
I only say 'thank you' at the coffee shop
I say nothing at the grocery store
my eyes do all the talking
and when my family asks me questions
they know they're wasting their allotment
cause i wont answer
cause i need to talk to you
as much as i can
and when you cant speak back
because you've run out of words
it's okay it's alright
i'll speak for the both of us
with my seventeen words left for the day

Surf

All in my socks
All on the subaru floor
Under itchy bandage on my arm
In the etches of my cupped hands
Filled with water
A minnow made of glass
Swims circles
Weathering

watchingworldcup

i wanted to write on here tonight but i am unfortunately very sleepy

teleporting

I’ve teleported through all the major cities in america i drink my boutique cortados and stumble through parks counting sparrows with a blank mind the northeast is great for this with sidewalks and pigeons the south is pretty miserable the west is naturally beautiful and it takes a special mind like mine to see the beauty in the middle i’ve met people in all have shared some memories as much as they can be shared love and happiness and embarrasment but when i opened my phone last night and saw an old coworker return to her home country in tears i realized the one thing i have yet to do is belong

train

In the perfect world
We rode the little red train
Around the park
Around the zoo
I made a photo of you
Smiling
As it turned a bend
As it ran over a man
Trapping him underneath
As it made the evening news
As if a first date
Could ever go any better

sometimes, within the span of like 12 hours, you're hit with mutiple moments that all work together to convince you that there is something inherently unlovable about you. that you're not worth getting to know. that you're not interesting enough to cotinue getting to know. that after knowing you you aren't worth the hastle. I don't necessarily believe these three things. but they do almost inspire some bad poetry

i think i finally get that cameron winter album

i'm supposed to go to two parties this week. i may only do one. or maybe i'll do both but one will be brief. i don't know. i meant to game today but instead i took a like four hour nap after work and then endured a hostile phone call for an hour or so. it mellowed out, ended well enough but then there's the midnight followup up text that makes you feel crazy for thinking things could ever wrap up nicely. i don't know. i booked a place to crash so i can just be alone when i travel again in two weeks. that's more than one week, for any who think there's no difference

i guess i can kinda vent to someone tomorrow about all this maybe. i like keeping everything to myself. that way i'm not accused of shit talking or whatever

i think my old colombian coworker from my coffee days just moved back to colombia. wonder if it was immigration/ice-related or just homesickness. she was crying from happiness in the stories she posted. i want to belong somewhere like that

look at that. one year. and you're doing just fine. not worse. marginally better. fine

101

Stumbling through doors
And onto firm bar stools
I make a photo

Lies about lives
...Just misdirections
Or something like that

We talk through drinks
Split, say bye after our walk
And pours of fernet

Walk run to reach you
Arms locked as leds go dark
I’ll go home now

got that 'sublet' :P hellooooogoodbyeee

aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the world can be so beautiful