had plans to get tinys today which turned into nancy's plans instead which turned into getting cancelled on last minute. it's fine. didn't need to spend the money i suppose but was looking forward to it since last week. even turned down another friend's offer to get tinys (she would've paid too ... (cause she feels she 'owes' me)) i got home and went straight to sleep for four hours. woke up and ate two apples that were starting to soften

i submitted my grad school application on saturday. i'm hopeful that i get accepted. i should save for some technicality. got everything in except my transcript which is a while annoying ordeal with my former college. had to submit an unoffical one cause they dont send digital versions and the one i paid to get mailed to me on mlk day still(!) hasn't shown up. personal statement coudl have been sstronger but i paid the fee out of pocket that should count for something...

my band's first show is in less than two week, ten days from now i will have played in front of people for the first time. i dont want to promo it anymore. i feel like everyone that i would want to see there i've told the details to already. and ive shared the flier so if they even care me they would click on the post and put two and two together

saw my former coworker from a year ago earlier and he spent the limited time we interacted getting shots off at my job and boss because of his resentment for getting fired. i don't care for my job like that, it's not a part of my persoanl identity really, but more importantly i dont care for his personal aggrievement. say that stuff to boss lady or shut up. its been a year get over it

spent the last couuple saturday nights hanging with different friends, doing ket and enjoying struggling to talk about things. kinda therapeutic. would do it again this week but i feel like there's something i need to do

oh what also felt off about my friend cancelling is that, another friend expressed some worry for him, since they're all on this step tracker app and while a majority had over 10k steps logged, he only had a couple hundred. im sure it has to do with him not being on or with his phone all the time to some extent, and while his reason for cancelling was some money he was expecting not coming in and not wanting me to cover him til it does, but it all felt too convenient, y'know? i'll see him on super bowl sunday

january was "ask me if i'm gay" month