i think this new years feels especially hard cause its the first one in five years where a couple people who meant so much to me will no longer be there

on top of general depression/insecurity stuff that pops up around now anyway

i dont think i've eaten much since like friday. idr what i ate that day but sat was just a couple bites of a burger and some fries, sunday was three tamales that i didnt even want. monday was a kolache and croissant in the morning. today has been a single reeses cup, but i've hit up some friends about going out to eat tonight so i cant just stay in bed til tomorrow anymore

when i texted emmett the other day he didnt have my number saved anymore