okay it took reaching out and opening up to make me feel like things are getting better. i don't feel better about my predicament exactly, like my negative feelings and assumptions are still there but by divulging some of them i feel like there was a step towards actual friendship that hadn't been taken before. like when you get a new star or whatever for your confidant status in persona games lol. i am always happy with just being friends with someone. even if it takes time to process my own feelings, i know that i can do that. i've gotten sleepy again and i think it's best to cut myself off while i'm ahead so to speak

i am fostering a cat named kirby for a few days. she is hiding under my bed. she was curled up next to one of my garfield plushies that fell down there, but she is now on her bed which i slid over to her. hope she joins me on the bed at some point. gonna put out food and go to bed. kirby has one eye. her right eye was removed due to suspicion that they were casuing her weird growths on her head. after the eye was removed, the lumps did not go down as anticipated. they haven't grown noticably in size, but they are prominent. they don't appear to cause her discomfort, so she is still being cared for, but it's understood that if/when they become a quality of life concern, she will have to be put down. she is between 8-12 years. black cat. she's sweet

sometimes the road isn't long. but it's good to feel warmth in the stretch that does exist